I can't help but watch the seniors around me with a mix of fascination and dread. Here I am, not even there yet, and I'm already questioning everything about this college admissions circus that's waiting for me.
Something feels off about the whole thing. I watch everyone obsessing over getting into "good schools," and I keep wondering: why? I've done my research – the statistics don't lie. Being a straight-A student doesn't guarantee you'll be more successful in life. Yet here we all are, preparing to throw ourselves into this pressure cooker like it's the only path forward.
Watching another Ivy Day approach, I see what's coming for me next year. I see the seniors around me now – people I know, people I've looked up to – turning into balls of stress and anxiety. They're about to face their decisions, and I'm sitting here thinking about how this will be me in just a matter of months.
I watch them talk about:
Their endless nights studying for APs and IBs
The SAT and ACT prep consuming their lives
How they're so worn down from sports and club leadership positions that they're falling asleep in class
Those moments when they duck into the bathroom just to breathe because it all feels like too much
And I have to ask: Is this really what we're all supposed to aspire to?
Don't get me wrong – I see their determination. I see their grit. I see how incredibly hard they're working. But I also see the toll it's taking, and I can't help but wonder if there's something broken about a system that makes teenagers feel like their entire future hinges on a single decision from a college admissions office.
The seniors keep saying these colleges will never know their full stories – all the obstacles they've overcome, all the personal battles they've fought while maintaining their perfect GPAs. And they're right. How can any application really capture who a person is?
I watch them prepare for their decision days, and I see both strength and vulnerability. They're trying so hard to be ready for whatever comes, telling each other that they're young, that they have their whole lives ahead of them, that where they go to college won't define them.
And maybe that's the real lesson I'm learning before I even start my own applications. Maybe the point isn't about getting into a specific school. Maybe it's about what you become while trying – the resilience you build, the perspective you gain, the understanding that your worth isn't tied to a college's decision.
To the seniors sweating over their decisions right now: I see you. I see how hard you've worked. And even though I'm not in your shoes yet, watching you go through this has taught me something valuable. You're showing us that it's possible to work incredibly hard for something while still maintaining your sense of self-worth, regardless of the outcome.
And to my fellow pre-seniors who are watching this unfold with me: maybe we can learn from what we're seeing. Maybe we can find a way to approach our turn at this with both determination and perspective. To work hard without losing ourselves. To care about our futures without letting college admissions define them.
Because one thing's becoming clear as I watch this process unfold: the college you get into might shape your next four years, but how you handle the journey there – that's what shapes who you become.
So while I prepare for my own turn at this crazy race, I'm trying to hold onto these realizations. To remember that wherever I end up, it's the person I become along the way that really matters.
And maybe, just maybe, that's the real win – not the name on the acceptance letter.